i just want to scream

struggling today...not sure why.

maybe i am just super emotional...maybe because i miss you...maybe because i don't see an end in sight...maybe because i lay awake at night thinking about things that are out of my control...maybe because i deserve to have a bad day every once in a while.

i cant keep doing this...i am over the bullshit...i am over the hours...the expectations....the limitations...the lack of guidance...the excuses...the crappy pay...the debt it is creating...the worry...the second job to just be able to afford life...

and the best part is that i cant get a straight answer on when, why or how i can work towards that next step...no wonder i don't care any more...what is the difference

yes i am doing it to be with you...to be with you forever...but i am also doing it because i don't have any other choice...i cant afford to (literally) keep doing this...

over it!!!