REALLY!

so Pepsi thought this was a good idea...

WOW!

http://jezebel.com/5379070/pepsi-releases-iphone-app-to-help-men-score-with-women-and-brag-about-it-on-twitter

read for yourself - words cant even describe it...

notes to self...

1) don't go to bars looking for guys - you find this

2) don't waste your time with guys drinking amp

3) if you in fact see a guy both drinking amp and playing with his iPhone...laugh...point and then walk the other way!

4) not all progress is truly progress! way to take a HUGE step back on this one!

its not a matter of believing...

its a matter of realizing!

operation beautiful

today i stumbled upon a site called operationbeautiful.com

if ever there was a day that i needed to find this inspiration - it was today!

this site is a constant reminder that we are all beautiful - just the way we are and that the sooner we realize this and remind others of it - the sooner the world becomes just a little bit better!

with all the things facing women today - i wont pretend like this is an easy task...but if just for a moment - this movement makes you feel, remember or believe that you are truly beautiful, then it is doing a wonderful thing.

i am not happy with the way i look - but then i remember that regardless - i am beautiful and that my spirit and hope and joy and love helps to make other lives brighter -

i put up a post-it note with "you are beautiful...if you think otherwise - stop today!" and the website (operationbeautiful.com) in the women's restroom at work...

i plan on putting 10 post-its with inspirational thoughts including (you have the power to change the world - start today! share your beautiful smile and make someone's day) on lockers at the gym...hopefully it will make someone stop seeing the flaws and start embracing them as true beauty!

whatever it does for you - is personal and none of my business - but i could not let a single minute pass without sharing this with the most beautiful people i know - my friends and the people i have yet to meet!

please - if you have a daughter, a best friend, a mother, a sister, or a co-worker - pass this message on and help to reshape the way women see themselves!

you are beautiful just the way you are - never let anyone tell you different!

RR's

postponed until monday...i can't miss out on el pinto and zinc this weekend while mike's parents are in town.

so much to do...have to go home and clean the entire house as its a mess and i don't want his parents to see it looking like that.

oh well...as is life.

a big congrats to the flacks as they welcome tyler lee flack into the world on 9.1 - that is so wonderful and i can't wait to see more pictures!

moira and gunnar are up next...only a few more weeks! all these babies...sort of makes me want one of our own...but that can wait for a little while.

p.s. the RR's stand for random ramblings...

i have been pretty belly sick as of late...smells make me want to puke and i am getting really bad headaches...i actually thought i might be prego...but two tests conclusively prove that i am in fact not...when i told mike this - he was a little disappointed which was soooo cute. i honestly cant wait to start our family. not that my little four legged furry babies aren't keeping me busy enough but you know what i mean.

back to work!

after lunch

well that was not as hard as i thought it would be...

but i am sitting here thinking that maybe i should have started this on monday of next week as mike's parents are going to be in town and it will be a challenge to pass on good wine and food when we take them to dinner.

oh well...it seems like it is never the right time to start this thing.

either way - i still feel good...and not hungry.

a small bump in the road

the first challange...

lunch with a vendor...just told my boss that i am doing a master cleanse so i wont be eating...have not heard back regarding her thoughts.

oh well...i will sit there and watch them eat.

lemonade in hand!

is it 5:00 yet?

10:39 and i am bored!!

the worst part is that in my attempts to be a wonderful friend and bridesmaid...i am helping my ney find cupcakes and a mini cake for the reception...which means that i have spent my morning looking at (you guessed it) cupcakes and mini cakes with all kinds of fondant and frosting and things like that...

the best part is that i don't even like cake!!!!

oh well...its almost 11:00...which means the day is almost sort of half over...

trying to focus on work but we have so much to do around the house that its almost impossible to think about placing media.

on the plus side...i am not hungry and the lemonade is not bad at all...

back at it

after a very long hiatus in the process and the realization that this is going to be a very hard task...i have once again embraced the master cleanse and starting this morning will embark on this journey over the next month.

i have been getting really bad headaches, more than i should be getting them, and they are becoming debilitating. i am attempting to cleanse my system in an effort to get rid of these headaches and move forward in the direction of better health.

update one for the day...i am sure there will be many many more.

in the event that anyone cares...or even reads this...but either way - it will help me to stay focused.

8:27 a.m. - going strong!

just made my first lemonade mix for the day...

Finally...

for the past few months i have not felt particularly well about myself...the way i look or the way i feel
i stopped eating meat in an effort to combat the gross feeling in my stomach after a huge meal heavy with animal protein and while that has helped a little i still feel gross!
call it stress, call it a lack of working out, call it being tired...but honestly i call it "eating all the wrong things and exposing my body to things it should never have to deal with"
if you know me - and i am hoping that if you are reading this you at least have an idea of who i am...you know that i could survive on a diet consisting of noodles with spray butter and Parmesan cheese, veggie burgers and the occasional roll from the local sushi joint...but really - is that good for me?
i have heard a lot about this Master Cleanse book/diet that is becoming overwhelmingly popular and decided to learn more about it. Honestly two pages into the book i knew that i wanted to do this...

it wont be easy...actually it will be down right hard because i like so many other people eat when i am bored not just when i am hungry, and have a fiance that can eat anything and everything and still stay thin...

but i say "bring it on"

i am ready...starting tomorrow (well tonight actually) i will be embarking on a 10 day (at least) master cleanse...

i plan on using this blog as an outlet for anything and everything i am feeling both good and bad to remind myself why i am doing this and how much better i will feel once its over.

its not just about weight...its about letting my body recover from all of the stress and harm i have put it through because of the food i choose to eat, the soda and alcohol i choose to drink and mostly the lack of positive health choices that i tend to make...

lets flush it all away!!

more to come...

does this make it official...

for some reason i have been on a big kick to finish our wedding website these past few days...

i guess i just have a ton of information to share and this seems like the best place to put it all down...

it has all the necessary information (well most of it) for the wedding next August. I will keep updating and adding to it - comments and suggestions are always welcome!

check it out...
http://www.mywedding.com/mikeanderinkillion/

i guess its pretty official now...

take your dog to work day...part 2

this is pretty funny...so why not share...

Top 10 Things to Say to Convince Your Boss to Take Part in TYDTWDay
10. The squirrels in the neighborhood deserve a break.
9. Wagging tails work great when the a/c is on the fritz.
8. With a dog as your passenger, you’ll be able to use the car pool lane.
7. It’s a great way to lick the work day blahs!
6. My dog thinks you’re grrrrrrreat!
5. Meetings end as soon as Rover starts staring at the conference room door.
4. You can blame those missing reports on one of your employees’ dogs.
3. It’s the leash you can do.
2. Finally, someone at your office will actually be working like a dog.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON TO TAKE YOUR DOG TO WORK…

1. Friday, June 26, is Take Your Dog To Work Day®!

take your dog to work day...

thats right...today is national take your dog to work day...or possibly dogs for those of us so inclined to chance fate with two puppies under the age of 4 months...can someone please tell me how to spell challenge!!

of course i did not know that june 26 was in fact this special holiday...i thought it was nothing more than a very welcomed friday and the end of a very long week if only because i doubt that there has been a week in which more has happened...strike that...the past two months!

so og and zoe sit at home in their crates...catching up on some much needed sleep as zoe woke up around 2:30 and spent the next 45 minutes whining and whimpering...it was heart breaking but i would have everyone know that i ignored it because mike told me i had to - it was the only way she was going to learn even though my motherly instincts were driving me to take her out of her crate and snuggle her in my arms (which i did around 5:00 ending in her peeing on the bed...thank god for the waterproof mattress cover - good call austin)

as much as i enjoy my job...i am ready for this week to be over - i want to go home, continue to unpack round one of stuff scattered in no real order around our house, paint a little (maybe) and spend time with my two favorite little four legged furry friends...

i would take a picture but my phone does not have a camera and of course my camera battery is dead and the charger is kicking it in a box in storage and will not arrive until tuesday along with the rest of our stuff (cant wait)

randomness...but i digress...

happy take your dog to work day...i hope you puppy pal actually gets to see the inside of your office...

walls...

our house is coming along...

i cant wait until everything is put away and set up and in place and not just laying around...

no more paint buckets laying around, no more brushes drying on the sink, paint drops cleaned up off the floor...

they say that owning a house is a lot of work...buying a house that someone else has lived in is even harder...

everything needs to be cleaned, changed, repainted...everything has to become "ours"

so much work...but oh so worth it!!

i can't wait to host dinners and parties and bbq's and baby showers and girls nights and guys nights and holidays and all the fun things that come along with being the proud owners of a house...

i can't wait to grocery shop and clean and sit on the couch and watch tv with mike on a saturday during the fall...

sunday football...college game day...ufc fights...all the things i can't wait to share with our friends in our living space...

the one thing that makes me sad is that i can't share it with the people who matter the most to me because they are a million miles away and can't just stop over for drinks one night...

so much work, so much time, so little sleep...but so worth it in the end!!!

one major step towards adulthood...

no more rent...
no more landlords...
no more apartment number...

we move into our first house today...

what a novel concept...owning a house...debt for 30 years...

but it is the best feeling in the world!!

leaps and bounds

so much has changed since the last time i sat down to write one of these bad boys...

move to new mexico - check
new puppy - check
new house - check
engaged - check
new job at a kick ass agency - check
wedding date set - check

i am sitting at my new desk in my new office looking out the door wondering if there really is something so wonderful as fate - the novel ideal that things really do happen for a reason. aside from the fact that my first day has been spent looking at websites (i have to learn the market somehow) and playing of facebook (our email is down and we all know i need to stay connected) i am for the first time in a very long time - really enjoying my life.

maybe its the fact that i get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend - or that after such a rocky ride - i finally get to enjoy what it means to be happy. maybe its that i feel like my life is finally moving the direction it should be - house, fiance, dogs, great job, etc...

or maybe its because any little doubt that i had in my mind about whether this was the right choice - the right move, the right guy, the right life...have faded away. as if everything were meant to be - right move, right house, right job, right guy...right fit all the way around.

i am not going to pretend that life will be all sunshine and roses from here on out - i am not naive. i have seen the struggles that befall married people. as bev says, you have to work at it everyday - its not easy...

but i know that in my heart and in my mind that with him, in this town, in this place and in this life - is where i want to be!

i just want to scream

struggling today...not sure why.

maybe i am just super emotional...maybe because i miss you...maybe because i don't see an end in sight...maybe because i lay awake at night thinking about things that are out of my control...maybe because i deserve to have a bad day every once in a while.

i cant keep doing this...i am over the bullshit...i am over the hours...the expectations....the limitations...the lack of guidance...the excuses...the crappy pay...the debt it is creating...the worry...the second job to just be able to afford life...

and the best part is that i cant get a straight answer on when, why or how i can work towards that next step...no wonder i don't care any more...what is the difference

yes i am doing it to be with you...to be with you forever...but i am also doing it because i don't have any other choice...i cant afford to (literally) keep doing this...

over it!!!

its been a while

its been a while since the last time i wrote a posting...

annoyed at the day, at people, at situations...
it started bad...it ended in whatever...
wine always seems to help me forget...

good...
i have a man that loves me more than life itself - which is amazing
he reminds me of it almost hourly - which makes it even better
i made dinner for my roommate tonight sans meat, dairy and eggs...and he ate it with out much complaining
i am kicking it on the couch with my blanket watching tv...

bad...
my boss is being an ass right now -
there is a question that he is burning to ask but can't - because its not a fair question
the reason i wanted to wait is now becoming something i deal with on a daily basis
i am losing my motivation to do anything because the only person i can think about is 700 miles away

who knows...random...blah!!